living loved

…and suddenly a light from heaven shone around him. – Acts 9:3

I imagine forgiveness looks a lot like the youngest on a tilt-a-whirl chair when perceived by others. Hold on because he/she forgave what?!?

We live in a culture of forgiveness when it’s convenient, boundaries that prevent grace, and bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, and slander with a little bit of malice (or maybe that was only for the Ephesians) – wink, wink.

Forgiveness is tough. But forgiveness is what we are called to do. Who deserves it? Nobody. Who earns it? Nobody. Who gave his life for it? Christ. And he paid for it knowing we would abuse it and hesitate to give it to others. We live lives of contingency…

Except God. God met Saul on the road to Damascus where Saul was traveling to maim, terrorize, and persecute Christians…and yet, God met him there anyway. And then God brought all the darkness to light. Ironically, He did this through blinding Saul by light. And then to restore this sinner’s sight, he sent a man, Ananias. Ananias didn’t want to go. Saul was dangerous. Saul killed Christians. Saul was not worthy of Ananias’ forgiveness…

Except God. God reminded Ananias of who He (God) was. And Ananias not only went, but he called Saul “Brother” before he restored Saul’s sight. Not villain. Not murderer. Not Sir. He called him “Brother.”

And then, Saul forgave himself. He accepted who Christ was. He accepted the free gift and grace of salvation in spite of who Saul was and what he had done…he is the sinner of sinners as he so calls himself. And Saul was immediately baptized. Saul accepted Christ’s mercy and grace and lived his life loved and forgiven. And he couldn’t help but tell everyone else.

1. God forgives
2. We forgive others
3. We forgive ourselves
4. And if we’re lucky, we get the you-crazy-tilt-a-whirl-face

And except God for me, too. I experienced the hurt and betrayal of one of my children the last few weeks. I wanted to lash out. I wanted to protect. I wanted to defend. I wanted to have anger, and wrath, and malice, and all the things…but then God intervened like a good Father does. And the momma bear heart turned into a heart seeking God – the same God who forgave and forgave and forgave me…again and again and again. And my honest desire is that the Holy Spirit led forgiveness will stand as a testament for my child as I authentically loved and forgave and smiled at those who hurt her. As others prayed for us, I pray she, too, will learn to walk out her forgiveness through Him and for Him for the salvation of others.

Too often we boundary forgive and not scandalously forgive. While there is wisdom in guarding our hearts, we cannot use “wisdom” or “boundaries” to neglect our call to forgive. God didn’t set a boundary before forgiving Saul, and He removed the boundary of fear from Ananias. And Saul’s baptism wasn’t contingent upon a boundary or his forgiveness from others, only the salvation of Christ.

Sisters, Brothers…we can only truly forgive when we live out the grace and forgiveness given to us on the cross.

Who do you need to forgive? How can you show and share His grace? Let the scales fall from your eyes, and allow God to readjust your lens – the view is beautiful.

XOXO, Loni …and forgive me for a long overdue blog, friend.