living loved

For this world is not our home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come… – Hebrews 14:13

Over the course of many years, “What the heck are you people doing?” has either been a question asked or assumed or thought about concerning our various moves, house flips, or my hubbies next business or job adventure. Most people (friends and family included) can’t help but watch with a wondrous stare the various predicaments we tend to get ourselves into. Even I second guess, question, and doubt some of the choices made and “why couldn’t we have done things like everyone else?” plops into the inner most recesses of this bitter and envious heart once in a while.

And when I don’t think the winds of change could bring anything else, we find ourselves in quite possibly the biggest and most questionable season of change of all. After 20 years of teaching and 16 of those being part of the “tribe” at Conemaugh Township, in a few short weeks I will find myself in the halls of a new school, a much bigger school, a school where very few will give a hoot about who “Mrs. Stankan” is. But it doesn’t end there. My babies who have been rooted at CT for all their academic lives, have also decided to make the move with mom – all on their own accord (I fought till the bitter end for them to stay). Oh wait – there’s more. And the bearded beauty’s (my hubby in case you didn’t know) business and childhood dream will also close with a simple signature on a dotted line that may provide hay in the barn but without the dancing and the heehaw.

Home sweet home – what does that mean to the nomadic heart of these Stankans? It means that our treasures are not here on earth, and we take comfort in that because through every physical move God demonstrated His goodness and faithfulness and protected our hearts from what it needed to be protected from. It means that when I leave all I know, I appreciate that God has something better to bring me from my complacency and sleepy heart & mind and am left with peace beyond understanding and joy in Him alone. It means that my children through prayer and seeking His wisdom, made the decision to follow Him – not momma. It means that although sad and disappointed and facing all the “what ifs” that the bearded beauty will trust that God has him, this family, and is truly Jehovah Jireh – the One who provides.

I needed this reminder this week as I felt the crushing weight of the unknown, the “what ifs”, the regrets, the comparison trap of where we “should” be and where we are. God is good. God is home. Home sweet home.

XOXO, Loni